the Forgiving business

To forgive and forget.

Both are like the two sides of a coin. Without one, it's incomplete. What we rarely taught is how to deal or respond to apologies. I think the ideal respond would be accepting it. An accepting gesture with a sincere forgiving tone, look and no “buts”.

I think we learn our best from parents & most parents I know have this patronizing attitude. Yes, they mean well & it shows that they want their children to keep improving and to be a better person. But as you get older it gets weary.

Say you did/say something awful and you regretted it. At times your pride forbids you from admitting, let alone apologizing. But as you get older you realize pride will get you nowhere and you just want to make peace. So you come to your parent(s), apologize and surprise…(!) you receive free lengthy lecture (nagging would be the right word, don’t you think?) over that matter.

You got two choices: to shot back, argue which not necessarily settled the problem, if not raising another issue, or to keep quiet and let mom/dad vent (this goes with other people, of course). At times I would keep quiet and leave when they finish, but something kept hanging on my head.. does it mean I’m forgiven or not? For one thing, I don’t need no nagging (especially not at this age, fercryingoutloud!!), so what’s the use of hearing some mindless nag (yes, angry people are usually mindless) but I didn’t get what I came for, forgiveness.

So at times I don’t know how to deal with this. Just recently I shot someone in an sms message. At the end of the day, as I was mulling over what I did the whole day I remembered about this and sent an sms apologizing. The reply, was “I’m not mad, just make sure your anger doesn’t hold ‘til the sun go down”. Nice, biblical, but am I forgiven???

Maybe I could pursue the subject, but….? Ohwell, I’ve made my peace by assuring that I’ve asked for forgiveness, if they don’t forgive me, then it’s their problem. I know God has.